Black Rose
by Siriusly Hannah
Summary: What if before Sirius Black was sentenced to Azkaban he had a daughter? Her name is Lasarus Black, and now with Sirius gone, she is forced to come to Hogwarts, and into the world her father knew so well. How will she survive when so many want her dead?
1. Prologue

Disclaimer- The only thing that's mine is Lasarus and the plot. Everything else belongs to JKR.  
  
Black Rose  
  
PROLOGUE:  
  
Hi, my name is Lasarus. I'm not a vampire or a sorceress, but I'm a witch. And the daughter of a convicted murderer. I'm 5'6, I have black hair that falls below my shoulders, and grey-brown eyes. My father is Sirius Black. Yes, the infamous Sirius Black, who disappeared behind a veil one year ago today. I am 16 years old, and I'm staying with Remus Lupin, my dad's only friend who's still alive. For the past five years of my life I've been going to Durmstrang. After my dad died, I got a letter from Dumbledore (I'm very close to him. I've known him since I was a baby). He asked me to come to Hogwarts, and he said he would like me to be closer to home since I live in London. Plus he wants to keep an eye on me because my dad's cousin, Bellatrix is most likely going to want me dead. I just love my family! Don't you? Not. Oh yeah, sorry for the sarcasm. I get that from my dad.   
  
Anyways, school starts soon and I'm really nervous. I don't care though, because I'm used to people picking on me, and giving me a hard time because my dad is Sirius black. I mean I don't go around announcing that I'm Sirius Black's daughter, but most people can tell because I look just like him. The only thing different are my eyes. I have my mother's eyes. But we'll get to my mother later. Plus how many people have the last name Black. The Black family goes back many generations. I'm even related to the Malfoys. Alright, enough about me, let's start the story.

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Hey! I hope you liked it. This is just the prologue. Please review and tell me what you thought! 


	2. Leaving a mark

Author's Note- Hey! Sorry it took me so long to update. And sorry if the chapters are short, but that's just gonna be the style of this story Well, here is chapter 1...

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**Chapter 1, Leaving a mark:**

"Lasarus, it's time to get up. Your train leaves in a hour!" Remus yelled up the stairs.  
  
"Alright, alright, I'm coming!" I yelled back, slowly getting out of bed.  
  
I quickly got dressed into a simple pair of black pants and my favorite wizard rock band white t-shirt, The Doxi's (A/N: Don't ask. I just made it up off the top of my If any one has any better ideas let me know!). I brushed my hair, and looked into the mirror. The resemblance between me and my father is uncanny.  
  
"Ugh, I don't want to go." I said to myself. I sighed and took one last look at my reflection, before going down the stairs and into the kitchen.  
  
"Good morning." Remus said happily.  
  
"Good morning." I replied yawning.  
  
"Here have something for breakfast, you're going to need it."  
  
"Why are you so cheerful in the morning?" I asked sitting across from him at the kitchen table.  
  
He looked at her for a moment and then said, "You don't want to go, do you?"  
  
"No, not really." I answered.  
  
"Your father would have wanted you to go there, and be safe."  
  
"Yeah, well I'd rather be with him! Dead!" I said loudly, standing up.   
  
Okay, okay, I know you're probably all thinking I'm a little over dramatic. Well, I didn't really mean that, and I regret saying it, but it just came out. I have all these emotions building up inside of me. I'm angry at my dad for leaving me, I'm mad that I have to go to a new school and leave the environment I know, and it's early in the morning (well for me it is anyway), and I haven't had my daily dose of caffeine yet. Remus looked at me, and he looked hurt. That's when I realized how tired and worn out he looked. He looked older than he really was. He had dark bags under his eyes and more gray streaked his sandy brown hair. Full moon is approaching. He always gets like this when there's a full moon near. But I couldn't help but think there was something else.  
  
"Do you really mean that?" he asked.  
  
"No." I said quietly, "Let's just go and get this over with." I said grabbing my trunk that was over by the door. But he still looked like he never fully recovered. What I said had left a mark.  
  
"Where's Sapphire?" Remus asked as he grabbed the empty cage that was on top of my trunk.  
  
Sapphire is my owl. She is very pretty. She is a light gray, with beautiful sapphire eyes.  
  
"Oh, I sent her to one of my friends from Durmstrang with a letter two days ago. She'll know where to find me." I answered. "Where are we going?"  
  
"Dumbledore set up a port key that will take us to the train station." he said, picking up an old brown shoe. We each grabbed it with our free hand. Soon I got the familiar feeling that only a port key could bring. My feet had left the ground and I was spinning. It seemed like it would never stop, when finally my feet hit the ground, and the rest of the world came into focus around me. Remus was throwing the port key into a dumpster when I noticed we were in an alley across from the train station. I also noticed Remus was carrying a small duffel bag.  
  
"What's that for?" I asked.  
  
"Oh, it's just a change of clothes and some other overnight accessories. Dumbledore asked me to come along. I guess there's going to be a meeting with the order." he answered shrugging.  
  
We ran across the street carrying all our luggage, and we walked to the brick wall between platforms nine and ten. Then we casually leaned against the wall and within seconds we were on the other side, at platform nine and three quarters. I saw the scarlet steam engine, labeled the Hogwart's Express, and there were people everywhere. The train was going to leave in five minutes.  
  
"Listen Remus, I'm sorry about what I said before. I didn't mean it. I was just angry. You know I wouldn't want to be dead, and I love you. You're the father I never had. So I want to thank you for being there for me, and taking care of me. Please forgive me." Remus looked at me, and I could tell what I said meant a lot to him. I could tell that what I said had left a mark (in a good way this time).  
  
"You're forgiven." he said smiling, and I couldn't help but smile back.  
  
And just for a moment, one fleeting moment, he looked like my dad's best friend. But only for the time before the smile fades, and leaves hollowed troubled eyes, that lose their sparkle. And when the smile fades it leaves one whose been through more than anyone can imagine, one who must endure much more ahead, and one who hasn't given up the fight.

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Well, how is it? Good? Bad? Please review and let me know! I'm also open to any suggestions and ideas for the story.  
  
Thanks!  
  
**lupin-luver-72:** Thank you so much for being a loyal reviewer. This story is just an experiment so I don't really know where it is going. Yeah, my friend thought of the name Lasarus. I don't know it's different. Do you have any ideas or suggestions? Anything you want to happen? Anything at all? Thanks a bunch! 


	3. The last time

Author's Note- Hey! I just have some things I need to clear up before the next chapter. I've had a lot of questions about Lasarus' mum. Don't worry it will be explained later on in the story. Also I'm terribly sorry I made it seem like Lasarus isn't proud to be Sirius' daughter. That's not true. She is very proud. It's just she has a hard time expressing her emotions and she is mad at him for leaving her like that, but it's all understandable right? Also you have to understand that when she was younger and the news of her father being a mass murderer got out she was shunned and mad at her father. She didn't know what to be believe. Plus kids constantly picked on her at school because of her father. Also, she doesn't favor Remus over Sirius. She loves them both. She grew up with Remus and he was there for her when she needed someone. Well, alright, I hope that cleared everything up. Also this chapter is mostly a flashback. Well here is chapter 2...

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**Chapter 2, The Last Time  
**

"I'm going to find a compartment before they all fill up." I said hugging Remus.  
  
The only empty compartment I could find was in the very back. I took a seat and looked out the window. Everywhere I looked there was people. I watched a family that were standing right outside my window. They were a happy family, with a mother, and a father, and a little girl. She looked like a first year. She was crying as her parents hugged her one at a time. Then she turned slowly and headed to a compartment. Her parents smiled and waved as they watched her go. For some reason this brought back a painful memory...

_A little girl, about four, with long black hair and sparkling hazel eyes sat playing with her toys.  
  
"Lasarus! How's my little girl?" A man with black hair that fell to his shoulders and deep blue eyes asked, picking her up.  
  
"Daddy!"  
  
He swung her around playfully before standing her up. He knelt down so that he could look into her eyes. She knew something was wrong. Her daddy was extremely pale, and he was shaking.  
  
"Daddy, what's wrong? Do you want to play with me. We could have a tea party." she said innocently.  
  
"Lasarus, listen. Daddy needs to go away and take care of some things. I might not be back for a long time. You're going to stay with Uncle Remus. Promise me you'll be good."  
  
"No daddy. You can't go!"  
  
"I have to. Just promise me."  
  
She nodded slowly, starting to cry.  
  
"Here, take this. Some people might say things about me that aren't true. Don't listen to them. Listen to your heart. This is to remember me the way I really am. The way you know me now, and to remember who you are." he said as he took a silver chain off his neck and put it on the girl. At the end of the chain was a beautiful star pendant with his name, Sirius Black, engraved on it.  
  
"It was given to me by your mother." He looked into her tear stained face and then pulled her into a tight hug. They stayed like that for a long moment. It wasn't long enough. Then a man she recognized as uncle Remus walked up behind them and put a comforting hand on Sirius' shoulder.  
  
"Sirius, you have to go. Wormtail is going to be there shortly. If you want to confront him you have to leave now." He said gently.  
  
Sirius slowly pulled away. He wiped the tears from her eyes with his thumb.  
  
"I love you." He whispered, "Always remember that." Then he slowly stood up and that's when she noticed a tear stream down his face. That was the second time she ever saw her daddy cry.  
  
"No! Don't go!" she sobbed.  
  
"Daddy! Please!"  
  
He slowly walked to the door, silent tears streaming down his face. He looked at her one last time, and then he was gone.  
  
She cried, she screamed, she threw her toys. When Remus came to pick her up she kicked and punched. But nothing would bring her daddy back.   
  
And that was the last time I ever really saw him._

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Well how did everyone like chapter 2! Was it sad? Did it make you cry? I almost did! Sorry it was so short, but I wanted the flashback to be all one chapter. Anyways here are the thank yous.  
  
**Sweet 16 Movie Bluff:** Thank you! You'll find out more about her mum later on in the story, so don't worry!  
  
**madderthanyou:** Thanks for the review! I'm glad you like it.  
  
**Kaleidoscope:** Thanks a bunch! The situation with her mum will be explained later on in the story. Even though I explained this at the beginning of the chapter I think it's important to explain it again. Lasarus is proud to be Sirius' daughter. Trust me! I'm sorry I made it seem like she wasn't. It's just she boxes up most of her emotions because she feels like they make her weak. And she misses her father terribly. But she loves Remus too. But she doesn't favor him over Sirius. You'll also find later on that she is protective of her father. Thanks for the suggestion! It came in handy. Sorry for talking so much! :p  
  
**lupin-luver-72:** Yeah full moons do suck! I was thinking about "The Weird Sisters" but I wanted something...I don't know...different I guess. Thanks for the suggestions, I'll give them a thought! I'll keep writing if you keep reading! Lol :p  
  
**ariana silverwood:** Thank you! I'm glad you like it! I hope you liked this chapter!  
  
Thanks again, and don't forget to review on your way out!


	4. Leaving my thoughts

Author's Note- Hey! Sorry it took so long to update. I was at camp, and I've been busy with my other story "Nothing Can Come Between Us". Which is now finished. Anyways, here is chapter 3!

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**Chapter 3, Leaving my thoughts**

I didn't look up when the compartment door slid open. I was lost in my thoughts of my early childhood, and I wasn't even aware of their presence until they spoke.  
  
"Er-excuse me?"  
  
I jumped, quickly snapping back to the present time.  
  
I looked up and saw a tall bay, with messy jet black hair, emerald green eyes, and glasses. Behind him was a girl with bushy brown hair and a pretty face, and another tall boy only he had red hair and freckles. I couldn't help but think that the boy with messy black hair and glasses looked oddly familiar.  
  
"I'm sorry. I didn't mean to startle you." he said, having obviously seen me jump.  
  
"No it's ok. I was just thinking. So...can I help you?" I asked, quickly wiping my eyes as a tear threatened to escape from my previous memory.  
  
"Um-I was just wondering if my friends and I could share this compartment with you? All the rest are full."  
  
"Sure."  
  
"Thanks. I'm Harry Potter, and these are my friends, Ron Weasley and Hermione Granger."  
  
"Hi. It's nice to meet you. I'm Lasarus Black." I replied, shaking each of their hands in turn.  
  
I noticed they tensed a little at the sound of my name, and they both exchanged quick glances with Harry.  
  
I couldn't stop thinking about how familiar Harry looked when finally it dawned on me.  
  
_'Of course! How could I have been so stupid? Harry is James Potter's son._ _Duh!'_ I thought to myself.  
  
I've seen enough pictures of James when he was at school with my dad and Remus to know what he looked like. Harry looked just like him.  
  
By the time I had abandoned my thoughts again, they had settled in, and an awkward silence filled the compartment.  
  
"So...I haven't see you before. Are you new?" Hermione asked, breaking the silence.  
  
"Yeah. I just transferred from Durmstrang."  
  
"How old are you?"  
  
"Sixteen."  
  
"So your in our year. Do you know anyone here?"  
  
"Um...just Albus Dumbledore and Remus Lupin."  
  
"How do you know Professor Lupin?' Ron asked, still preferring to call him professor.  
  
"Oh, well he's my godfather. I live with him."  
  
"Er-I'm not trying to be rude or anything by asking so many questions, but are you by any chance related to Sirius Black?" Hermione asked cautiously.  
  
"Yeah. He's my father." I replied, bracing myself for their reactions.  
  
"What?" Harry exclaimed.  
  
"You can't possibly be his-"  
  
"Well I am." I said rudely, cutting Ron off.  
  
I'm terribly sorry if you think I'm being rude, but I'm sick of people reacting this way! I mean why is it so hard to believe? Why is it impossible for Sirius Black to have a daughter? I'm sick of having to explain myself, and how I'm his daughter, or why they never heard about me before, everywhere I go. I think I liked it better when people would just look at me like I was crazy, or walk away or back off like I would contaminate them with some deadly disease. At least I didn't have to explain myself every time.  
  
"He never said he had a daughter." Hermione said, a look of shock etched on her face.  
  
_'Here we go again.'_ I thought to myself.  
  
"Well, he probably wanted to keep it a secret. Because if the information of my existence got into the wrong hands, like my lovely relative Bellatrix Lestrange, they'd most likely want me dead."  
  
"Oh."  
  
"He always talked about you in his letters, Harry." I said, trying to change the subject.  
  
"Er-no offense, but you look just like him." Ron said shyly.  
  
"None taken."  
  
"I'm sorry for your loss. It must be hard for you." Hermione added softly.  
  
I nodded slowly, and instinctively my hand went to my chest, where a silver star pendant was hanging on a silver chain around my neck.  
  
I couldn't stop thinking about him, and how much my life had turned around. Everywhere I went there was something to remind me of him. And now I was going to Hogwarts, where he spent most of his life growing up. This was going to be harder than I thought.  
  
I sat, absentmindedly stroking the pendant with my thumb, and becoming lost in my thoughts.  
  
And by the time I left my thoughts behind for the third time, we were pulling into Hogsmeade.

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Well, sorry if this chapter was a bit boring, but it had to be done. I won't be able to update for awhile, because I'm going on vacation next week. But I'll try to write while I'm away. So hopefully the next chapter or so will be written. And I promise you find out about her mum soon! Please review on your way out! It will make my day!  
  
Thanks to my wonderful reviewers!  
  
**lupin-luver-72:** Thanks for the review! Don't worry, you'll find out about her mum soon! The sorting will be next chapter!  
  
**Sweet 16 Movie Buff:** Thank you so much for the review! I'm so happy you loved it! I was afraid that Sirius was out of character a bit, but thanks for letting me know I did it right!  
  
**Kaleidoscope:** Thanks for reviewing! I'm sorry I should of explained that more, but I'm glad you asked. Remus doesn't know entirely about the secret keeper thing, he has his suspicions, but he thinks that Sirius ants to go talk with Pettigrew. He wasn't even fully aware of who the secret keeper was (well in my story anyways). Make sense? I hope so!  
  
And about her mum, you should find out about her in the next two chapters or so. Thanks again!


	5. The Sorting

Author's Note- Yay! I'm back! Sorry about the last chapter being so short! And I haven't forgotton about my promise that you will find out about her mother soon. It's not in this chapter, but the next one. I promise! Well, on to chapter 5...

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**Chapter 5, The Sorting  
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**Disclaimer:** I only own some of the sorting hat's song. The rest belongs to J.K Rowling.

As I stepped off the train, I looked around. It had just started to rain, and the sun was setting in the distance, giving the sky an orange glow.  
  
"Come on let's find a carriage before they all fill up." Hermione said, leading us over o an empty carriage.  
  
I expected to see a horse tied to the front of the carriage, but I was surprised to see black, winged creatures.  
  
"The carriages are pulled by thestrals?" I asked, staring into the black eyes of the one pulling our carriage.  
  
"um-yeah." Harry answered. I noticed him and Hermione exchange glances as I got into the carriage.  
  
The rain came down harder, and the sky became a dark purple, as we slowly made our way through the gates and onto Hogwarts grounds.  
  
My breath caught in my chest as I saw the massive castle, and it's many lights illuminated against the darkening night sky, drawing closer until the carriage came to a complete stop in front of the main entrance.  
  
I followed Harry, Hermione, and Ron through the main door and into the crowded Entrance Hall. We slowly pushed our way through the throngs of people. Just before I stepped into the Great Hall, I heard someone call my name.  
  
"Lasarus Black!"  
  
I looked up and saw a stern woman, with her graying hair pulled into a tight bun at the top of her head.  
  
"Miss. Black, over here please."  
  
"Bye guys! I'll catch up with you later." I told the trio, as I turned and headed the opposite way.  
  
"Miss. Black, I'm professor McGonagall, transfiguration teacher, and head of Gryffindor house. You will follow me into the Great Hall with the first years, where you will be sorted into one of the four houses, Gryffindor, Ravenclaw, Hufflepuff, and Slytherin."  
  
I nodded as I took in all the information. My head was swimming with thoughts, and it was hard to focus on just one. I was also nervous about the sorting. I knew most of my family was in Slytherin, but I really want to follow in the footsteps of my father, and carry on the Black name proudly.  
  
_'I need to get into Gryffindor.'_ I thought to myself, as I lined up behind the first years.  
  
Presently, Professor McGonagall brought a stool with an old hat placed on top of it, and put it down in front of the head table. She then stepped back, and the hat opened it's "mouth" and began to sing:

__

_"Oh you may not think I'm pretty,  
  
But don't judge on what you see  
  
Go ahead and toss me if you can find  
  
A smarter hat than me.  
  
I've been here since the beginning,  
  
When the houses that, like pillars four  
  
had once held up our school  
  
And I was here when  
  
they turned upon each other and,  
  
divided sought to rule.  
  
Well, you all know the score,  
  
I sort you into houses  
  
because that is what I'm for.  
  
But don't think it ends there  
  
there are still many tough times ahead.  
  
But we must all unite as one here,  
  
and remember those who have gone  
  
are not nescessarily dead.  
  
Well, I must fulfill my duty  
  
And must split you every year  
  
Still I wonder whether sorting  
  
May not bring the end I fear.  
  
We must remember that our worst enemy,  
  
can be ourselves, and that  
  
we must find our strength within.  
  
Well, I have told you, I have warned you  
  
Let the Sorting now begin."_

The hat became motionless once again, and applause broke out.  
  
Professor McGonagall stepped up to the stool and unrolled a piece of parchment. She waited for the applause to die out completely before reading off the lists of names.  
  
"Ames, David." She called out. A tall boy with blonde hair moved forward and took a seat on the stool. He looked around nervously as the sorting hat was placed onto his head.  
  
There was a moments pause before it shouted, "Hufflepuff!" The Hufflepuff table broke out in applause and they welcomed their new house member.  
  
"Black, Lasarus."  
  
I moved forward, as I heard my name. The Great Hall broke out into whispers as I sat on the stool. When the sorting hat was placed on my head, it became silent. It was as if everyone was holding in their breath, so as not to make a noise and miss something. I knew people would be talking. They always did, and always would.  
  
The sorting hat began to speak, so only I could hear it.  
  
"hmm...very interesting. Another Black! I never thought I'd see another one of those at Hogwarts." It began.  
  
"You have definite Slytherin material, seeing as your family goes back for generations, and almost all of them have been in Slytherin." I tensed as he was analyzing whatever was in my head.  
  
"Ah! But you are very much like your father, Sirius Black. It seems like only yesterday I was placed onto his head. If only I could have warned him of his future. Your strong willed, brave, and determined like your father. I see a bit of your mother in you too. Your clever and quick witted. That you get from both. Hmm...how about Gryffindor!" The hat finally shouted. It seemed like I had been sitting up their forever.  
  
I let out a breath I didn't even know I was holding, and quickly made my way over to the Gryffindor table. I smiled as I sat down next to Harry, Ron, and Hermione.  
  
When the sorting was finished Dumbledore stood up and silenced the Great Hall.  
  
"Now, as many of you now know, we have a new sixth year student. Her name is Lasarus Black and she just transferred from Durmstrang to be closer to home. I expect you will all show her respect and hospitality, to make her feel welcome here at Hogwarts." Dumbledore paused, and looked around at all the students to emphasize how serious he was.  
  
"That's the only announcement I have, so let the feast begin!" he said, and no sooner had the words left his mouth that all the plates were filled with more food than you can imagine.  
  
The hall quickly filled with chatter, and the clanking of forks and knives as the students ate their fill.  
  
Remus came over to congratulate me.  
  
"Hey."  
  
"Hey. Congratulations, your father would have been very proud of you."  
  
"I know. Thanks."  
  
"Hello, Harry, Ron, Hermione." he said, turning his attention to the three of them.  
  
"Hello Remus." Hermione said happily.  
  
"Hi." Harry said  
  
"Long time no see." Ron said as the food was cleared away, and many very full and exhausted students made their way out of the Great Hall and to their common rooms.  
  
"I know. I've been busy lately. So how is everyone?"  
  
"Fine. We are making through day by day." Hermione said.  
  
"I see you met my god daughter." Remus said, motioning to me.  
  
"Yeah. We met her on the train." Ron said.  
  
"Well, I'll let you all get to bed, I just need to speak to Harry for one minute."  
  
So we all got up and slowly made our way through the mass of people trying to get out of the Great Hall. I suspected that Remus was making sure Harry was ok, and how he got through his summer with the death of his godfather resting on his shoulders. And I know Harry has mixed feelings for me. I don't really blame him. I mean he is going through a hard time and then I show up, his godfather's daughter. He's probably mad at Sirius for not telling him about me, and he's probably a bit mad at me for showing up at a time like this. I'm sure every time he looks at me or hears my name that he is remined of the one person he loved that he lost. His only real family that he had left.  
  
As I layed in bed that first night, I thought about all that stuff. I thought about how hard I must be making this for Harry. Even if it really isn't my fault. When Sirius came into Harry's life, Harry had the chance at a family again. He had the chance for a new life, since he never really got to know his parents besides what people said about them.  
  
Remus made aware to me that Harry blames my father's death completely on himself. He takes full responsibility for it, but I don't blame him. But I guess you can always find blame in death. Remus also made aware to me, that now that Harry know's that Sirius has a daughter, he feels even more guilty for his death.  
  
There is not much I can do to prove him wrong, and to prove that I am getting along fine. Living day by day. Some days are better than others.  
  
As I lay in bed I knew that the next couple of weeks were going to be hard. People would start asking questions and they would start talking. I was used to it, but could Harry handle it?  
  
I left my thoughts somewhere between sleep and consciousness. And as sleep over came me I slipped down into the deepest underworld of my most terrible memories.

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How was it? I hope it wasn't too boring. And yes, in the next chapter you find out about her mum! Yay, I can't wait. I'm praying for some reviews, because reviews inspire me to write more and to keep going. It only takes a couple seconds and it makes my day!  
  
Thanks to my wonderful reviewers!!! I love you!  
  
**Sweet 16 Movie Buff:** Sorry 'bout the last chapter. Hey! Your prediction was correct! What do you know? :) Thanks again for the review, and great job with your story! It's the best!  
  
**Kaleidoscope:** Thank you so much! You rock! Yeah, Lasarus doesn't want to be pitied, but she does have a pitiable past. Don't worry! I won't eat my words! A promise is a promise. You'll just have to wait for the next chapter! :p  
  
Thanks again. You guys are the best! 


	6. Darkest memories

Author's Note- Just to let everyone know, the beginning of this chapter is a dream (it's the italics part). That's just for clarification. Now without further ado I present to you chapter 6...

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**Chapter 6, Darkest memories**

_Laughter echoed in the brightly lit room. I sat on a comfortable sofa in the middle of the living room. A woman with beautiful, curly chestnut hair sat playing with me. She looked down at her watch to check the time.  
  
"Oh no. I have to get you to bed. It's already ten thirty." she said, even though she knew I was too young to really understand her words. She picked me up gently and slowly stood up.  
  
She carried me down the hall, and into my bedroom. A crib stood in the middle of the room, and a rocking chair sat next to it. She carefully laid me in the crib and covered me with a blanket.  
  
As soon as she left the room, and closed the door behind her I burst into tears and I started to scream.  
  
She rushed into the room and turned the light on.  
  
"Shh...it's ok. Mummy's here." She gently reassured as I was lifted from the crib. She took a seat in the rocking chair and slowly rocked me back and forth.  
  
She began to sing a lullaby. Her voice soothing to me and I started to drift off. She had a beautiful voice, and it calmed me down instantly.  
  
A loud bang erupted from somewhere outside. I started to cry again, but she continued to sing.  
  
She stopped abruptly when there was a loud rattling noise at the front door.  
  
"Shh..." she whispered, but I could see the fear in her eyes.  
  
"Mummy?" I asked quietly.  
  
"Shh...It's ok. Everything will be just fine."  
  
Someone was breaking the lock, and beginning to open the door.  
  
"You hide in here." she said, placing me into a closet, "Don't make a sound, and don't come out for any reason." she said as she blew me a kiss and quickly shut the door.  
  
The front door burst open, I could hear it. I heard the sound of advancing footsteps, and I could just see through the small cracks in the door as my mother hid in the corner of my bedroom.  
  
I saw as the door to my room opened and two men in black cloaks and white masks with slits for eyes stepped into the room and cornered my mother.  
  
"No, please. Don't kill me, please!"  
  
"Shut up you stupid woman. Your faithful husband isn't here to protect you so you better start running." One of the men said. She made a desperate attempt to escape as she thrust herself at the two men and tried to get past. They pushed her back against the wall, and she broke out into a sob.  
  
"Please don't! Have mercy!"  
  
They laughed at these words, and I noticed that womans laughter was coming form the one closest to my mother. I held in my breath so as not to make a sound.  
  
"Where is your beloved child?"  
  
"Please, she's not here. Don't harm her!"  
  
They paused and looked around the room. The gaze of one of them paused when it got to the closet. I slowly pushed my way against the wall in the back corner.  
  
They raised their wands, and my mother sunk to her knees in defeat.  
  
"Avada Ked-"  
_  
"Noo!" I screamed as my eyes snapped open. It took me a second to realize where I was. And that I was safely in bed in Gryffindor tower. I was covered in a cold sweat, and my sheets were twisted around my body.  
  
A light was turned on somewhere outside my crimson curtains,and their were muffled voices.  
  
"Lasarus?" I heard Hermione say yawning.  
  
"Lasarus are you ok?"  
  
"Yeah-yeah I'm fine." I answered, as I noticed how fast my heart was beating.  
  
Hermione pulled back the curtains that hung around my bed, and looked up at me with a worried look.  
  
"What happened? Did you have a nightmare?" she asked, blinking the sleep from her eyes.  
  
Ha! A nightmare was a funny way to put it. I haven't used that word since I was seven. I didn't like it, and it made me seem stupid and small.  
  
"Yeah, something like that." I answered, taking slow even breaths to slow my heart down. I noticed that my hands were shaking.  
  
_'If I don't compose myself now I am going to start crying right here in front of everyone.'_ I thought to myself as I tried to gain control over myself.

"Do you care to tell me about it?" Hermione asked taking a seat on the side of my bed.  
  
I thought about this for a moment. I've never told anyone about my past before, and trust me this was no dream. It came from my most terrible memories, and it's haunted me since I was two. But what did I have to lose? Heck, it might even feel good to let someone else in.  
  
"Well for one, it was more like a terrible memory than a dream." I began, and she nodded for me to continue.  
  
"I was two and my father, Sirius, was at work, or should I say auror training. My mother was home alone with me and she was just putting me to bed. Two Death Eaters broke into our house and my mother hid me in a closet. Long story short I was forced to watch as they mercilessly murdered her."  
  
Hermione's eyes grew wide in horror. "What happened to you? How did you escape?"  
  
"They had to clear off and quick because the ministry would be arriving soon and they couldn't risk getting caught. I never left the closet. Not even when they arrived. When my dad got there, and he found out what happened, he-he was devastated. He got really mad and he started yelling, and cursing. He was throwing things, and I was scared. I had never seen him act that way before. Then hey told him that I was in the closet and refused to get out. He walked over and sat down next to me. We just sat there for a long time. None of us saying a word. Then I couldn't hold it in any longer and I burst into tears, He pulled me into a hug, and said that everything would be ok. If I told you how many times I have heard that throughout my life..."  
  
"I'm so sorry." She finally said after a moments pause.  
  
"Don't be. It's not your fault. And besides I got by just fine." I replied.  
  
I hate when people feel sorry for me, and when they feel like they have to apologize when they didn't do anything.  
  
'It's just, I wish I had known." she continued.  
  
"Why? So you could treat me different than you treat everyone else?"  
  
"No!"  
  
"Look I'm sorry. I'm just tired, and not in a good mood right now."  
  
"I understand. You should try to go back to sleep. I'll see you in the morning for the start of classes." she said standing up and closing the curtains. I heard her climb into bed, and after a moments pause the light was turned off and I was bathed in complete darkness.  
  
I couldn't get back to sleep though. I was scared to close my eyes, because every time I did I saw my mother's lifeless body lying on the floor, or I heard her cries for mercy. I saw my dad's devastated face and I saw the tears stream down his face. I heard him yelling and cursing, and I heard the Death Eater that murdered my mother's cold piercing laughter. She had been a woman, no doubt, and someone I have come to hate today. She had been the one that almost found me, she was standing right in front of the closet door. The other Death Eater had said her name.  
  
It was my dad's own cousin, and murderer, Bellatrix Lestrange.

* * *

So? How was it? Review and let me know! I know you don't find out too much about her mother, but at least you find out why she hasn't appeared in the story and where she was all this time.  
  
Thanks to my wonderful reviewers! I love you guys!  
  
**Sweet 16 Movie Buff:** Thank you soo much! You are the best! How was this chapter? It was hard to write, and I'm afraid it didn't come out he way I wanted it to.  
  
**Aragorn101: **Big shocker! Lol! Thanks for all the reviews! Sorry about all my grammar mistakes. grins sheepishly  
  
**katemary77:** I made you cry? Sorry! But, I guess that was what I was aiming for. Thanks again!  
  
**Khori:** Trust me, a lot of reviews are good! You definitely do NOT annoy me when you review. And questions are good. I enjoy getting reviews from you, and answering your questions.  
  
1) She went to Durmstrang to get away from everything. She didn't want to be reminded of her father, plus she had to lay low in case the Death Eaters were still looking for her.  
  
2)Sirius stayed away from her to keep her safe. You'll find out more about that later on.  
  
3)And about the Dursleys. I don't think Harry would really consider them as family (would you?)  
  
You couldn't read chapter 3?! AH! That sucks. It was just a flash back of the last time Lasarus ever saw her father. Well, thanks again, and I hope you liked this chapter!

Thanks again! You guys are the best! :)


	7. All in the family

Author's Note- Sorry it took so long to update! I had this idea for a story bugging me, so I had to post it. Anyways, on to the next chapter!

* * *

**Chapter 7, All in the family**

I looked at my schedule during breakfast the next morning. I had potions first. I also noticed Hermione sneaking glances at me when Harry and Ron weren't looking.  
  
_'Oh. So she obviously hasn't told them yet.'_ I thought to myself, as Hermione slid down the bench so she was next to me.  
  
"Hi." she said.  
  
"Hey." I answered dully.  
  
"So what subject do you have first?"  
  
"Potions."  
  
"Oh. Me too."  
  
"Good luck in your first potions class." Ron said, having overheard our conversation.  
  
"What do you mean?"  
  
"Professor Snape." Harry answered for him.  
  
"He's a stupid git." Ron added.  
  
I nodded. The name Snape rang a bell. I just couldn't figure out why.  
  
"We have potions with the Slytherins. That's another reason why you'll need good luck." Ron said, nodding his head towards the Slytherin table.  
  
"Oh." I said, returning to study the rest of my schedule.

I stood talking avidly to Harry, Ron and Hermione in front of the potions classroom when I heard someone mention my name.  
  
"You see. That's Black's kid right over there. Imagine that. A mass murderer actually having a child." I heard them say, quite loudly. I spun around and searched for the source of the voice. I spotted it almost instantly. A tall, blonde haired boy, in Slytherin robes stood looking at me with an annoying smirk on his face. I walked up to him, and looked him in the eye.  
  
"What did you say, Draco Malfoy?" I asked much to the shock of Harry, Ron and Hermione who had turned around and walked up behind me.  
  
"You heard me, Black." he said.  
  
"What? We're not on first name speaking terms anymore?" I asked, pissed off at his games.  
  
"We never were." He answered coldly.  
  
"I don't have time for your games, Malfoy." I said, annoyed.  
  
"One thing of advice before you go all hostile on me. Don't associate yourself with the likes of them." He said nodding towards Harry, Ron and Hermione.  
  
"What do you mean?" I asked confused.  
  
"Mudbloods, and Weasels." he answered, and his two "body guards" snickered.  
  
"What happened to you? You never used to care." I said, a little hurt at his odd behavior.  
  
"Oh, I always cared." he answered, a smirk playing at the corners of his mouth.  
  
"That is enough! You will have time to chat later, but not during my class time." a man with black hair, a large pointed nose, and cold menacing eyes said as the door to his classroom swung open.  
  
I glared at Draco, before going to stand next to Hermione.  
  
"What was that all about?" she whispered.  
  
"I'll tell you later." I said as I entered the classroom.  
  
Professor Snape took roll call, and I found it a little strange when he paused before saying my name. And then throughout the class I received glares from not only him, but the other Slytherin's as well.  
  
When Snape was handing out parchment for the homework assignment he paused at my desk, and then bent low to whisper.  
  
"Don't think because you're a Black that you will be treated any different than anyone else. And I have no tolerance for any pranks, and any smart _comments_ in my class. Unfortunately your father didn't leave on good terms. And I had no tolerance for him as well."  
  
Suddenly it dawned on me why his name rang a bell.  
  
"You're Snivellus?!" I burst out before I could stop myself, and the rest of the class turned around in their seats to watch. I knew right away, from the look on Snape's face that that was definitely the wrong thing to do. He stood back, and looked murderously down at me.  
  
"You're a stupid fool, just like your father. Not caring about anyone but himself, and strutting around the school, doing whatever he pleased. And you know where that got him? Nowhere! Because he died a stupid fool." Snape spat, his eyes glowing dangerously.  
  
"That's not true." I whispered, but received a warning look from Hermione who was sitting in front of me.  
  
"Thirty points from Gryffindor," at that the Gryffindor half of the class groaned loudly, "and you have detention with me tomorrow night at six o'clock sharp." he finished, and I had to bite my tongue to stop myself from saying something that would only make matters worse.  
  
He turned and finished passing out parchment to the rest of the class. I slumped in my seat and sulked for the rest of the class. I received many glares form other Gryffindor's who were upset that our house already lost points.  
  
_'Oh great. Now my own house hates me.'_ I thought as the class was dismissed and I quickly packed up my things and left as fast as I could.

Harry, Ron, and Hermione met up with me at lunch that afternoon. I was still in a bad mood, and I was sitting by myself at the end of the table. They came and sat next to me.  
  
"Are you ok?" Ron asked, his ears turning slightly red.  
  
"Let me see. It's the first day, and I already had points deducted and received detention." I said putting my hair into a bun with my hand.  
  
"It's ok. Don't let Snape get to you." Hermione said, "you'll be fine."  
  
I sighed, and let go of my hair, and let it fall down my back. "I guess so."  
  
"How did you know he was Snivellus?" Harry asked.  
  
"Oh, well Remus told me tons of stories from when he and my dad, and your dad were in school.  
  
"How did you know Malfoy?" Ron asked.  
  
"It's a long story. I'll tell you after dinner. I have to get to my next class." I said grabbing my bag, and heading out of the Great Hall.

The rest of my classes went by far better than my first one. I didn't receive any more detentions or lose any more house points. I had already told Draco off twice that day. The second time was on my way down to dinner, when he saw me walking by and just couldn't keep his big mouth shut. He was acting like I didn't have feelings anymore. Frankly, it was getting on my nerves.  
  
That night at dinner, Remus came and sat down with me. He looked a little better than he had a few days ago, but he still looked awfully tired.  
  
"How was your first day?" he asked.  
  
"Horrible." I answered truthfully.  
  
"It couldn't have been that bad."  
  
"Oh, believe me, it was. I hadn't even gotten through first period and I already had a detention and thirty house points deducted. And I told Draco Malfoy off twice today."  
  
"Detention? Let me guess. Snape." Remus said.  
  
"Yes! He was talking to me about my dad, and then he said some pretty nasty stuff."  
  
"So what did you do to get detention?"  
  
"I called him Snivellus by accident."  
  
Remus laughed, and that familiar sparkle returned to his eyes, the way it always does when he laughs.  
  
"Well, that would do it." he said, and then he stopped as if something dawned up him, or he just realized something. He was looking at me, almost studying me.  
  
"What is it?" I asked, a little concerned.  
  
"You are so much like your father." he said sadly. "He would be proud-he was proud."  
  
"Yeah." I said absentmindedly.  
  
"Well, I have to go. I have a lot of homework to do, and it's only the first day." I said, as we both stood up.  
  
"Bye. I'll see you soon." he said turning to go.  
  
"Remus wait." he turned back around.  
  
"What is it?"  
  
I walked up to him and hugged him. I was really worried about him. He wasn't looking too good. Ever since Sirius died, he has been getting worse.  
  
"I love you." I said into his ear. I could almost feel him smile. I rested my head on his shoulder. I felt safe in his arms. He was my dad. Don't get me wrong, Sirius is my dad, no one could _ever _replace him, but Remus was also my dad. And I have been living with him for the past twelve-thirteen years. And that's a long time. I was a very lucky person to have two dad's. How many people can say that?  
  
I didn't really care who saw, or what anyone thought.  
  
"You take care of yourself. Ok?" I said, pulling away. He smiled.  
  
"Well, bye. I'll see you later. Get some sleep." I said turning to go.  
  
"I'll try. And same to you. Don't work yourself too hard." he said.  
  
"I won't if you won't." And then I was gone, into the Entrance Hall, and off to the common room.  
  
I took my time as I climbed the stairs one step at a time. Because I knew once I walked through the portrait hole that I would have some explaining to do. After all, I did owe them an explanation. So that was exactly what they were going to get.

* * *

How was it? I'm sorry if it takes me longer to update because I'm starting school tomorrow and I'm gonna be busy. But if I get some reviews, I can work around my busy schedule! :)  
  
Thank yous:  
  
**Sweet 16 Movie Buff:** Thank you so much for the wonderful review. I'm so happy you like it. That means a lot to me. Oh yeah, encase you were wondering, I changed "Immortal Bliss" around a bit, thanks to some advice from you. Thank you so much. So just to let you know, the revised version is up!  
  
**Khori:** Thanks for the review! I love getting reviews from you! Oh yeah, about your question. You are correct, Sirius was in Azkaban when Harry was one, but let's just say she's a year younger than Harry because of where her birthday falls. Thanks again!


	8. Someone I'm not

Author's Note- Sorry it's been taking me a while to update. I'm feeling a bit under the weather, and my computers been acting up. So hopefully I can get back on track.

* * *

**Chapter 8,** **Someone I'm not  
**  
When I entered the common room, I saw Harry, Hermione, and Ron sitting at a table in the corner working. Or so I assumed. They looked up when I walked in. I knew they were waiting for me, and I knew I wouldn't hear the end of it if I didn't explain it to them.  
  
I have trouble expressing strong emotions, and personal issues. Though I seem to be doing a lot of that lately. For them, the truth about my past may be hard to take in, but it's even harder to expose myself to so many people seeing as I've only been close to a few in my whole life.  
  
I took a deep breath. _'Here goes nothing.'_ I thought,as I walked over and took a seat next to Hermione.  
  
"Hey." I said nonchalant.  
  
"Hi." Hermione said looking from Harry to Ron nervously.  
  
"Um...so what was that thing between you and Malfoy all about?" Ron asked getting straight to the point.  
  
"It's kind of a long story."  
  
"We've got time." Harry said. Speaking up at last. I've only heard him speak to me a few times. I wasn't sure why he was pushing me away, but I'm sure it was awkward for him.  
  
"Ok. You see-wait. Did Hermione tell you about my dream? You know, with my mother." I asked, not wanting to have to relive that night all over again.  
  
"Um...yeah I did. You don't mind do you?" Hermione asked blushing.  
  
"No that's ok. I didn't want to have to explain it all over again anyways."  
  
Hermione nodded to show that she understood.  
  
"Well, anyways, after my dad was sent to Azkaban I went to go live with Remus. He is my godfather as you should know by now. I'm also aware that you know of his _'condition'_." I began.  
  
They nodded in agreement, and I continued.  
  
"Well, since I was too little to understand and it was dangerous for me to be exposed to the truth about him. So one day every month, the night of the full moon, I was sent to the Malfoy Manor. I stayed there until Remus picked me up the next day."  
  
"Wait a minute. Don't the Malfoy's hate the Black's?" Hermione asked.  
  
"Not the Black's in general. My father wasn't popular among them, if that's what you mean. But they didn't want people to start talking about them, and saying that they were meddling in the Dark Arts. Even though it was a widely kown fact that they did. They accepted much to Remus' surprise, to watch me for one night every month. I also believe Dumbledore had a say in this. He can be a very persuasive person."  
  
"Harry, it kinda sounds like you with the Dursley's." Ron said, nudging Harry, who just nodded, a grim expression on his face.  
  
"Well, that explains some of it. But-" Hermione began.  
  
"I'm not finished. Well, the Malfoy's had a son, whom you know. Draco and I became close, well as close as you can get spending one night in each other's company once a month. But this arrangement went on for about five or six years. Then I started school in Durmstrang and we drifted apart. I assume his father or his mother, or both who knows? Told him to stop writing me letters, and to cut off all contact with me all together. I hadn't heard from him since. When I was young and naive, I thought he was just busy. That was until I came here and learned the truth."  
  
"So how did you find out the truth about Remus?" Hermione asked.  
  
"Well, the same as you I suppose. I just pieced everything together and came to the conclusion that he was a lycanthrope."  
  
"A lycanthrope?" Ron asked.  
  
"A werewolf, Ron! Honestly." Hermione replied.  
  
I coughed amusedly and Harry sniggered. We exchanged amused glances. I held his gaze for a split second before he turned back to Ron and Hermione.  
  
"Well, I didn't say anything to him when I found out about his lycanthropy. I wanted him to tell me himself. And sure enough, when he was ready that's exactly what he did. I could tell he was nervous. He fidgets with his hands when he is nervous. He had thought that I was going to "disown" him in a sense. When I told him that I already knew, he was shocked, but relieved also."  
  
_I sat on a sofa by the fireplace, reading a book. Remus entered the room and took a seat across from me. I could tell something was bothering him. He was pale and he kept fidgeting with his hands. He was nervous.  
  
I knew it wasn't because of the full moon. That had been two weeks ago. That's when I had found out. He wasn't aware that I knew about his transformations, but I knew. This was something else though.  
  
His mouth was formed in a straight line, and he looked as though someone had died. He was starting to get me nervous.  
_  
_I closed my book and looked at him. The shadows from the fire danced across his face, and made looming shapes along the wall. The whole room was bathed in the orange glow from the fireplace, and the only other light was coming from the window where the crescent moon was peaking from behind a cloud. A ray of silver moonlight illuminated the spot where I sat. Giving my black hair a whitish-silver shine to it.  
_  
_"What's wrong?" I asked, watching him carefully.  
  
"I have something I need to tell you." he said slowly, "You may hate me after I tell you this, and you will probably want to live somewhere else. But I understand if that's how you feel." he began, almost sadly.  
  
I urged him to continue, even though I think I knew what was coming.  
_  
_He sighed, sadly, his face full of despair and lost hope. "I'm not who you think I am. I'm a werewolf, Lasarus. A monster."  
  
I stared at him in shock. 'How could he say it like that?'  
_  
_"I understand if you want to go somewhere else. It's ok. Everyone else does the same."_  
  
_My eyes filled with tears._  
  
_"Remus, I'm not like everyone else! I still love you and I always will."  
  
"What? You aren't mad? Afraid? Disgusted?" He asked, shock etched into his dark features.  
_  
_"Of course not! I've known for two weeks now. I didn't want to say anything, because I wanted you to tell me. And you are NOT a monster. Don't think that for one second!" I exclaimed as a tear rolled down my cheek.  
  
He looked thankful almost, then he broke into a smile. "Thank you." he said._ __

_"Thank me for what?" I asked slightly confused_

_"For accepting me." he answered simply._

_I stood up, and hugged him.  
  
"I'm sorry I didn't tell you before. It's just I thought-."_  
  
_"It's ok. I understand." I said, wiping my eyes with back of my hand.  
  
_

I looked up, and saw Harry, Ron, and Hermione looking at me.  
  
"Oh sorry. Where was I? Oh, yeah. Well, that's pretty much it. And when he got a job at Hogwarts, Professor Snape brewed Wolfsbane potion for him. It made his transformations less painful, and he became harmless. He got to keep his head during the transformations, he couldn't harm anyone, or himself."  
  
"Yeah, we remember the potion." Ron said.  
  
"Well, I've got a lot of work to do so if you don't mind I'll be going now." I said rising form my seat and taking off for a walk around the castle before curfew.  
  
_"You are a blessing." he said, putting a hand on my shoulder. I smiled respectively.  
_  
_"You are just like your father. Always remember that. And always keep in mind that you have both of us at your side. Though Sirius isn't physically here with you, he will always remain in your heart. For that's where your true friends lie. In your heart." he said, wiping a stray tear from my face with his thumb.  
_  
I turned a corner and continued walking. Careful not to meet any teachers along the way. Even though it wasn't past curfew, I still didn't want to have to explain what I was doing wandering around the castle by myself.  
  
I was always trying to be someone I'm not. Always smiling, and laughing, and saying everything was fine. Always pretending to be normal. I was always trying to be strong for everyone. For Remus, for Dumbledore, for my friends, my teachers, for my dad.  
  
But the truth was that I was falling apart form the inside out. And I'm not sure how much longer I can keep this play going, keep this happy mask on my face. Though I long to be normal, I was destined to be different. This show cannot go on.

* * *

So? Was it worth the wait? Please review and let me know what you thought. I still need more reviews than last time. The amount of reviews I've been getting is pathetic! Come on! You guys can do better than this!  
  
Thank yous:  
  
**Khori:** I hope this cleared up any confusion. And Lasarus doesn't expect special treatment. It's just, you know how a lot of the Black's think they are better than everyone else? Well, Snape meant that she wasn't going to get treated better than anyone else because she is a Black. Even though Snape does treat her differently, but not in a good way. Well, thank you soooo much for the review!  
  
**Liz:** Thank you soo much! I'm glad you like it!  
  
**Sweet 16 Movie Buff:** I'm so happy you like it. It really means a lot to me. Yeah she is proud of her heritage, but Remus needs credit too. Yeah, I don't know what happened to your first review for Immortal Bliss. It just disappeared. Well, thanks for reading and reviewing! It's greatly appreciated!  
  
Thanks again! You guys rock! :p


	9. Hope

Author's Note- Hey! Sorry it took so long to update! I've been caught up in school work, and yes, I admit it, your fan fics. I am guilty, clap 'em in irons. Oh, well. Here is the next chapter! Yay!

* * *

**Chapter 9, Hope  
**

_"Who am I? You sure you want to know? The story of my life is not for the faint of heart. If somebody said it was a happy little tale... if somebody told you I was just your average ordinary guy, not a care in the world... somebody lied."  
  
-Peter Parker, from the movie Spiderman_-  


I awoke the next morning, with a feeling of determination. I needed to face Harry, and sort out whatever it was that was bothering him. He had been so close with Sirius, in such a short amount of time. I didn't want it to seem like I was intruding on his life.  
  
I yawned as I headed down to the common room. It was a Saturday, so many students were still in bed, or outside on the grounds.  
  
When I didn't see Harry in the common room, I decided to look outside. Sure enough, I found him under a tree by the lake with Ron and Hermione.  
  
As I made my way over, I hadn't seen Draco walk up behind me. He stuck his foot out, and my leg caught on to it. I tumbled over and landed flat on my face.  
  
The anger surged in me as I pulled myself up. But when I looked up, a hand was extended towards me, and I looked to see the owner of this hand and was shocked to find that it was Harry Potter. I took his hand great fully, and he helped me up.  
  
_'They must have seen me fall and come over.'_ I thought, brushing off my robes. Then I spun around to face Draco who had a big smirk plastered on his face.  
  
"Sod off, _Malfoy_." I spat, glaring at him dangerously.  
  
"You should watch where you're going. You don't know who's watching you." he said, and the smirk disappeared from his face.  
  
"What's that supposed to mean?" I asked.  
  
"Nothing. I'm just saying, if you're going to be falling all over the place." he retorted, though I wasn't completely convinced that that was all he had meant by the previous comment.  
  
"You're not doing to well nowadays are you? With your father in Azkaban and all." I said, apparently hitting a nerve. Draco's jaw tensed and in one fluid motion he had grabbed my arm roughly, and we were now dangerously close.  
  
"What did you say?" he asked, through clenched teeth.  
  
"You heard me. Ask your father what it's like to have finally been caught in the act." I said. I was pushing all the right buttons and I was enjoying it. His grip tightened.  
  
"When you see your father again, soon, ask him what's it's like to have been killed by his own cousin." Draco hissed. At this I heard a struggle going on behind me, and I turned my head slightly to see Harry, Ron and Hermione being held back by Crabbe and Goyle. I returned my attention to Draco.

He had hit a nerve of his own, and he knew it. But I wouldn't let him see how much those words had hurt.  
  
"Well, why don't you find out for yourself." I replied, and before he could contemplate what had been said I lifted my leg and thrust my knee right where it hurts. And believe me, it hurt.  
  
He let go of my arm, and sank to his knees, groaning in pain.  
  
"Once a Black, always a Black." I heard him mutter hoarsely.  
  
"What was that?" I asked sarcastically. Crabbe and Goyle went to help him, and I turned and walked away, back to the castle. Harry, Ron and Hermione following me.  
  
"Are you ok?" Hermione asked.  
  
"I'm fine." I said. I wasn't sure if this was the complete truth. Sure, I was physically fine, besides a massive bruise on my arm, but what Draco said had stung.  
  
"That was bloody brilliant!" Ron said, looking back to see Crabbe and Goyle lifting Malfoy to his feet. He chuckled softly.  
  
"Thanks." I said absentmindedly.  
  
When we got back to the castle, Hermione and Ron had to go to a prefect meeting so I was left alone with Harry.  
  
"Thanks for helping me today." I said quietly, looking around the common room, trying to avert my gaze from Harry.  
  
"It was nothing. I saw you fall, so..." Harry began. An awkward silence descended upon us. It remained silent for a long time. None of us really knew what to say.  
  
"Look Harry, is something bothering you?" I asked, finally breaking the silence.  
  
"No. Why would you say that?" He asked.  
  
"Well, because you just don't seem like you like me. I get the impression I'm bothering you or something. Like you're mad at me."  
  
"You don't bother me, and I do like you. It's just-"  
  
"You're mad because Sirius didn't tell you he had a daughter." I finished for him.  
  
"Yeah." he said bowing his head as if he were ashamed.  
  
"I know I shouldn't be mad. He couldn't tell me. It was for you own safety. I just wish I had known."  
  
"I understand. Plus, I'm sure having another Black around is like having a painful reminder of last summer."  
  
He nodded, obviously wanting to get off this subject. "And seeing someone who looks so much like him is a bit unnerving." he said with a small smile.  
  
I laughed. I couldn't help it, it struck me as funny. I watched in amusement as he blushed slightly, and then it struck me. I intimidate him! Ha! This was too funny.  
  
"So, you never told me about your mother." he said.  
  
"Oh, that's a story for another time. I'm sure you'll find out soon enough."  
  
He nodded. "So what's it like to live with Remus?"  
  
"It's great! I couldn't ask for a better guardian." I said, happily.  
  
"Yeah, I wish I could say the same about my guardians." Harry replied gloomily.  
  
"You live with muggles right?"  
  
"Yeah, the Dursley's."  
  
"Your aunt is Petunia, right? Lily's sister?" I asked, recalling what Remus had told me.  
  
"Yeah, how'd you know."  
  
"Remus." I said, grinning sheepishly.  
  
"Right."  
  
"I heard they are awful."  
  
"Yeah. They are pretty bad, but I've never known anything else. I was supposed to live with Sirius after his name was cleared, but..." Harry trailed off, lost in his own painful memories of times gone by.  
  
"I understand. Hey! Maybe you can come live with me and Remus during the summer!" I exclaimed, hoping Harry would acquiesce.  
  
"Yeah, maybe." Harry replied, trying not to get his hopes up yet again on leaving the Dursley's. He knew he was always welcome at number twelve Grimmald Place, the headquarters for the Order, but he couldn't bring himself to go there. It wouldn't be the same without Sirius.  
  
He knew only too well, from experience, not to get his hopes up. Leaving the Dursley's was impossible. It was like he was never going to be free. Every year he got his hopes up, and every year something happened to crush his hopes.  
  
_'Maybe it would be different this time. Maybe I can finally be free.'_ He thought to himself.  
  
They continued talking for the next hour and a half. Ron and Hermione came back, and they all headed down to dinner.  
  
As Harry followed his friends into the Great Hall, laughing and joking around, he had a newfound hope. He took a seat next to Lasarus, smiling inwardly at the thought of being free, and living with his dad's and Sirius' best friend and his godfather's daughter.  
  
He forgot for, a short while, the horrors that awaited him in his future. He was, for the most part, happy. And, for him, this was the first step in getting over the death of Sirius.

* * *

How was it? Was it worth the wait? Well, please review and let me know what you thought. It will make me a very happy person!  
  
Thank yous:  
  
**Sweet 16 Movie Buff:** I know she doesn't seem like she's pretending to be happy, but I didn't mean it in such a literal way. She's supposed to seem depressed cuz she is, but in a way she's still putting on an act. Remus, and everyone else don't really know what's going on in her head, they don't know what she's really feeling. She tells them every thing's fine, when really it isn't. Maybe she doesn't realize how depressed she really is. I'm sorry, I should have worded it better. I'll try not to do that again. Thank you so much for the review!  
  
**MeredithAnn109:** Thank you so much! I'm so happy you like it! Wow! Thank you! I hope you like this chapter!  
  
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You guys are the best! Now don't forget to review on your way out!


	10. Black sets trend

Author's Note- Hey! I'm soo sorry for the delayed update! School has been very demanding, and I'm going through a bit of writer's block. I also started a new story "My Last Breath", but I'm a bit depressed at the lack of readers and reviews. Oh well, here is chapter 10!

* * *

**Chapter 10, Black sets trend...**

**  
**I made my way down to breakfast with Harry, Ron and Hermione. I was exhausted due to the fact that I hadn't gone to sleep until sometime early this morning. I collapsed into my seat and looked up at the teacher's table, more at of habit than anything else. Remus wasn't there, that much I presumed.  
  
He rarely came down to breakfast because the students-_his_ former students- don't feel safe and they would send letters home to their parents saying 'the werewolf is back'. He doesn't like to be ridiculed and put into a category like that. He's a bit sensitive on that subject. Can you blame him?  
  
The screech of owls and the flutter of wings brought me out of my thoughts. The post had arrived. I looked down at my uneaten porridge gloomily. I knew I wasn't getting any mail. I never did. Who was I supposed to get mail from? Remus was here, and he was usually the only person I heard from.  
  
Hermione retrieved the Daily Prophet from an owl's leg and paid it. It took a slight bow before flying off.  
  
Hermione opened the paper and gasped. Her hand flew to her mouth and her eyes widened in shock or horror, I couldn't tell, but it could have been both.  
  
"What?" I asked, I was a bit nervous. Her face had paled considerably.  
  
"'Mione what's wrong?" Ron asked. She handed the paper over to me and I looked down. I found myself looking into the eyes of Bellatrix Lestrange. I felt a not forming in the pit of my stomach and my mouth was becoming dry. Next to her was a picture of Lucius Malfoy. I looked at him in disgust. But what really got me was the title. "Black sets trend-Lucius Malfoy becomes the second to breakout of Azkaban prison"  
  
Black sets trend...That must mean they think he's still alive! They don't know about what happened in the department of mysteries!  
  
"What is it?" Harry asked.  
  
"Read it out loud." Ron said.  
  
I nodded and began to read.  
  
**Black sets trend-Lucius Malfoy becomes the second to breakout of Azkaban  
**  
_Lucius Malfoy broke out of Azkaban Prison yesterday afternoon. I'm sure all of you remember the incident three years ago, when Sirius Black became the first to escape. Black, who is still at large, seems to be setting a trend. Is Black recruiting members? That is very likely.  
  
It is said that Bellatrix Lestrange helped Malfoy escape, and has been last sighted heading north. Their destination is unknown, but the ministry is doing all they can to capture and recapture the ones in question.  
_  
_In the meantime beware of your safety. The streets are closed to the public at six o' clock every evening. Please take all precautions, all three of them are highly dangerous and aren't afraid of using the unforgivables_.  
  
_-Samantha O'Neil, Daily Prophet reporter-_  
  
A tense silence followed my reading. I tried to digest everything I had just read but it was too hard to focus on one thing.  
  
"They think Sirius is still alive!" Hermione exclaimed. She looked like she had just seen a person resurrected from the dead.  
  
Harry nodded slightly, a grim expression on his face.  
  
"Why are they heading north?" Ron asked.  
  
We all thought about it for a moment. Then it struck me.  
  
"Oh my god! They are heading in our direction!" I exclaimed as all the pieces fell in place.  
  
"Why would they want to come to Hogwarts?"  
  
"Because of me." I answered, unable to say anything else. The horror of the reality that my parent's murderer was coming to finish me off was just beginning to sink in.  
  
Hermione's eyes widened, and Harry nodded knowingly. It was up to Ron to press the matter further.  
  
"Why would they want you?" he asked, I sighed and shook my head at his ignorance.  
  
"Because, I'm the last of the Black's. My father is Sirius Black, the one person whom Bellatrix truly hated. Besides I'm following in his footsteps, and they don't want me to become a threat to them. Though I am not much of one now, in a few years I may be. So she wants to finish me off and get me out of the way."  
  
Harry gave me a sympathetic smile. I knew he understood what I was going through. He was going through pretty much the same thing. Voldemort wanted to finish him off because he posed as a threat as well. There were other reasons, but I'm not going to get into them right now. I already get off topic enough as it is.  
  
"I have to do something." I said getting up and leaving the Great Hall.  
  
...&&&...

The rest of the day went by pretty uneventful. I couldn't focus in any of my classes. The thought of what was ahead of me pretty much took over the whole of my attention span.  
  
I skipped dinner and went up to my dormitory to try to sort out my thoughts and focus my energy. My mind was swirling with everything that had happened earlier. I contemplated writing a letter to Remus, but I found myself looking through an old photo album instead.  
  
The photo album was pretty much all I really had to remember by parents by, besides my dad's necklace. I didn't have anything from my mother.  
  
I stopped at a picture of all of us. I was only a baby, not even one yet. They were standing outside. It was a very scenic area and the beautiful fall foliage seemed to explode in fiery colors behind them. My mother was holding me in her arms and Sirius had his arm around her. They looked so happy, and I smiled sadly as they looked back up at me and waved.  
  
I found myself drifting off to sleep, and before I knew it I was out cold, the album still propped open in front of me.  
  
_I was running from something. Some invisible force it seemed. It was dark, and I couldn't see my surroundings. I was outside, in a forest I guessed, as my feet crunched on the fallen leaves that littered the forest floor.  
_  
_I was breathing heavily, and I could just make out the sound of my pursuer close behind me. I tripped over a root and fell to the cold forest floor. The wind was knocked out of me and for a moment I couldn't move.  
_  
_I could here them closing in on me, and a dark figure loomed over me. I squinted through the darkness but it was useless, I couldn't escape.  
_  
_The silence of the night was broken by a cold maniacal laughter. The moon peaked from behind a cloud and caught a glimpse of my pursuer.  
_  
_"Crucio!" I heard a voice yell. And the sound of the laughter was drowned out by my piercing screams of agony._

_

* * *

_  
How was it? Was it worth the wait? Sorry for the cliffy! If you review I promise I'll update sooner! Please let me know what you think!  
  
Thank you to my wonderful reviewers!  
  
**Sweet 16 Movie Buff:** Don't worry! You didn't sound like a bitch at all. In fact I'm glad you told me! I love hearing you're suggestions and what you think! Malfoy abuse is great! Thank you so much for the review! I always love hearing from you!  
  
**Funness:** I'm so glad you liked it! And yeah, someone had already pointed that out but I just kinda changed it around to fit the story. So don't think I'm stupid or I wasn't aware of that, it's just I did it on purpose. But thank you for pointing it out! Thank you so much for reviewing! I hope you liked this chapter!  
  
**Vampira:** Um thanks for the review...I guess. For your information I didn't steal you're name because well, it isn't you're name! Anyways, thanks for reading and reviewing!  
  
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Wow! You guys are the best! I love you all! :p 


	11. You never know

Author's Note- I am soo sorry for the very much delayed update! School has been so demanding lately, and I have final exams coming up and they are 50 percent of my grade. So I guess the teachers feel that we'll do better on the exams if they pile on the work a week before exams. I've also been a bit short on inspiration and ideas. Does anyone have any? I would love to hear your input! Anyways, on to chapter 11...

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**Chapter 11, You never know**

**----------------------------------------------------------------------------**

I awoke with a cold sweat covering my body. I quickly sat up, throwing the photo album to the floor. It took me a second to realize that I was safe in my bed, and not in the middle of the Forbidden Forest being chased by Death Eaters. My hands were shaking and I tried to slow my breathing. My heart was pounding in my ears and I cursed under my breath at my lack of control.

If I was getting so scared and worked up from a dream, how was I supposed to face Bellatrix in person? _"Maybe you won't even_ _have to face Bellatrix..."_ I thought to myself.

The shadow of a smile whisked across my face at my wishful thinking. I almost laughed out loud, but stopped myself when I realized that it was still dark out.

_"It must be late."_ I thought, trying to remember when I had actually fallen asleep. I turned to look at the clock on my night stand. I was surprised to see that it was five in the morning.

Seeing as there was no point in trying to fall back asleep, I quickly got up and changed. I carefully tiptoed to the door, making sure I didn't wake anyone. When I was sure that everyone was still sleeping, I quietly closed the door behind me, the photo album lay forgotten on the floor.

...&&&...

I wandered the empty corridors, not sure where my feet were taking me. As I passed an open window, I shivered and cursed myself for not wearing a cloak. I wrapped my robes tighter around me as I began to walk faster.

My eyes were focused on the ground, and my thoughts were elsewhere. Suddenly, I collided with something solid.

"Sorry, I wasn't paying attention." I said not even bothering to look up. I was about to walk past and continue on my way-however pointless it may be- when a steady hand grasped my shoulder.

"Lasarus, are you ok?"

At the sound of his voice I looked up.

"Remus!" I exclaimed, feeling slightly embarrassed at being caught off guard.

"Are you ok?" he repeated, not once taking his eyes off me. "You seem kind of...preoccupied."

"No, no I'm fine. I was just thinking." I answered feeling the heat rise in my face.

He looked at me for a moment longer almost as if he was studying me, but then he looked around him before continuing.

"It's a bit early for you to be up. Don't you think?" he asked. His eyebrows arched quizzically.

"I couldn't sleep." I mumbled

He sighed. "Do you want to go for a walk?"

"Sure." I replied, knowing what this probably meant. A walk with Remus usually meant a long talk or lecture. But I complied none the less. After all, I needed someone to talk to.

...&&&...

We walked side by side in silence for a while. I, waiting for the lecturing to start, and him, lost in his own thoughts.

"So...what are you doing up so early?" I asked, my voice echoing in the empty corridor.

He was silent for a moment before answering.

"Couldn't sleep." he said, and I noticed him smile slightly from the corner of my eye.

"I heard that you offered Harry a place to live this summer." he said, his gaze fixed on an invisible point in front of him.

I nodded slightly, although he couldn't see me anyways. What I really wanted to do was smack myself on the forehead for not talking it through with Remus first. I just automatically assumed that it would be ok.

To my relief he wasn't trying to reprimand me.

"That was nice of you, but it is not our choice to make."

"I'm sorry. I should have talked it over with you first. He just sounded so unhappy, and I remembered the stories of how awful they were to him. I wasn't thinking." I said, feeling slightly embarrassed.

"There's nothing wrong with what you did, and I'm sure he greatly appreciates it. But it is not your place, or even mine, to decide where he is to live. However unhappy he may be, there are reasons for why he has to stay with his aunt and uncle."

I nodded to show that I understood.

"So who's going to break the news to him that he's stuck with those insufferable muggles for another year?" I asked, failing miserably at finding something to say to lighten the mood and change the subject.

Remus was silent for a short moment, his gaze remained fixed ahead.

"Well I suppose we don't have to tell him right away. After all, you never know what might come up." He smiled slightly as he said this, and I saw the familiar twinkle in his eyes.

"Well, I must be going. I have another meeting tonight, and then I will be heading home. I'll try to come by before I leave." he said, returning to all seriousness.

I nodded and gave him a quick hug good-bye, before we went our separate ways.

...&&&...

I wandered the corridors for a bit more, trying to figure out what Remus meant when he said that "you never know what might come up".

It was really getting to me when I found myself in front of the main entrance doors. I took a deep breath, and looked around me before swinging the massive doors open.

The sun was just beginning to rise above the trees, and I welcomed the chilly autumn air.

The cold collided with my skin and I felt the sleep instantly begin slipping away. I smiled and continued my walk across the grounds.

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Sorry for another short, boring chapter. Something big will be happening soon but I don't want to rush it. In the meantime does anyone have any ideas or suggestions? Please review!!! Even if it's just a word or two. I greatly appreciate it! It makes me very happy!

Thank yous:

**lupin-luver-72:** Thank you so much for sticking with me!!! I greatly appreciate it! You're the best! Btw, how's your story coming? Is there an update in the near future?

**Sweet 16 Movie Buff:** Wow! Thank you soo much! That was exactly what I was trying to do! Thanks again. I hope this chapter wasn't too bad. Any suggestions?

**freakin-person:** Lol...you'll find out what her mother looked like, but I can give you a few hints. She had beautiful wavy chestnut hair, and hazel eyes. She was very pretty and intelligent, but in NO way was she a Mary-sue.Lol,well that's all I can say ;) And yes, I love hearing from you! And I know what you mean, I love when my favorite stories are updated! Thanks a bunch!

**jelly beans beware:** Thank you so much for taking the time to read and review! I was so happy when I saw that I had a new reader! Thank you soo much! I hope you enjoyed it!

**Siriusly Deluded:** Lol...thank you so much! I always love hearing from you! I'm gonna post that notice tonight, and then within a few days I will hand it over. I just have too much work right now, and besides you need a story.

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**imogenhm:** Well, how was it? I'm sorry for the really long wait! Do you have any suggestions?Thank you soo much for reading and reviewing!

Thank you all!!!! You guys are the best!!! I love ya! ;) Don't forget to REVIEW on your way out!!! :)

Luv,

-A Darker Shade of Black-


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